Deferring gratification

One of the most important skills a human being can learn is deferral of gratification.  We all understand that certain actions do not feel good in the moment, but can give us benefits and satisfaction in the future.  Going to the gym and lifting weights is not fun during the act of exercising for most people, but the health benefits and stress relief it provides make it beneficial in the long run.  The same goes for eating healthy, going to the dentist etc.  However, deferral of gratification is only positive if gratification is being deferred for a purpose that allows for long-term benefits, fulfillment, and a better life altogether. 

It is too often the case in society that we encourage deferral of gratification in exchange for no long-term benefits whatsoever.  In school, students generally seek higher grades not for their personal satisfaction, but in pursuit of approval from authority figures.  Students know if they receive an “insufficient” grade that their parents in most cases will punish them.  Therefore, children work hard to achieve good grades to avoid punishment, and receive external validation of their self-worth.  This system is a great way to set people up for failure.  When people become adults, there is no external authority to tell them what to do and what not to do (hopefully).  There are no tests, no grades, and no teachers; there are no direct, step-by-step directions to achieving success and happiness.  I know I’m feeling some anxiety about what I will do without the structure and grade-oriented nature of school. 

Religion is another way in which people reject feeling good in the moment for no measurable future benefit.  People go to church, sit through long, boring sermons, and bake in stuffy, hot buildings.  In exchange, they avoid an eternity of hell and instead live in a blissful platonic paradise called heaven after they die.  Unfortunately, none of these things exist.

Ideally, of course, we wouldn’t have to defer gratification at all to achieve happiness and fulfillment.  And there are many ways in which we can do things that feel good in the moment, which also have positive benefits for the future.  Playing sports we enjoy, engaging in great conversations, and reading books are all examples of this.  Therefore, the ultimate goal in society is to reduce our need for deferral of gratification, and find ways to achieve happiness that don’t get in the way of immediate pleasure.  The first step towards achieving this goal is to stop doing the insane things that destroy our pleasure in the moment, and do not contribute, or actively stand in the way of our future pleasure.  After we do this, we can make decisions that will most effectively allow us to pursue happiness in the present and future.

Thank you, Joe Rogan

I met Joe Rogan in Toronto after he performed a comedy show last September.  My friend and I waited over an hour in line to get a chance to speak with him and take a picture.  Since I had a very limited time to speak with him, and was not able to communicate all my emotions and gratitude towards him that night, I had to think of the most true and powerful statement I could make in the least amount of words.  I said to him: “you’ve made the world a better place”.  That is the highest compliment I can give to a person, and I feel so happy and satisfied that I was able to communicate that message to him. 

Joe Rogan’s podcast was the first totally uncensored, honest, rational media source that I had ever come across.  His podcasts are usually three hours long, and are an authentic, laid back conversation where virtually every topic you can think of is discussed.  His podcast was like making a bunch of awesome new friends, and came into my life at a time when I didn’t have a lot of people around me that I could be honest with.  It also turned some long, usually boring, car and bus rides into the best times of my life.  The raw masculinity and passion displayed by Joe is so refreshing to me. 

Joe’s podcast, and his life in general have helped inspire me to pursue my passions.  Stand up comedy, commentary for the UFC, and his podcast are the things he loves doing the most, and he makes of living off doing those things.  He never received a university degree (I think) and he has repeatedly said that doing a normal job was not an option for him.  

I feel like I am not destined to have a normal life or job either. 

Ethical leadership,social learning theory, school and parenting

One of the classes that I actually enjoyed during my school career was organizational behavior.  Basically, it involved applying psychology to the organization – be it corporation, non-profit, government organization etc.  I wrote a research paper on ethical leadership and received a perfect grade (whatever that means).  Ethical leadership is the theory that leaders can improve organizational effectiveness by modeling ethical behavior.  This is consistent with social learning theory, which states that people learn and have their behavior inspired by role models.  Thus, effective leaders model openness, two-way communication, honesty, altruism, and empathy for employees.  Since people are motivated to be ethical by positive role models, punishment and harsh negative consequences are not effective ways to improve an organization.  These coercive tactics can only lead to resentment and passive aggressive behavior.

What stuck in my mind taking this class was the degree to which we focus our efforts towards creating a psychologically positive environment for employees, but do the exact opposite for children.  If two-way communication, honesty, and empathy for employees are so important to a healthy organization and society, then why is there so little focus towards improving ethical leadership in parenting?  It is still socially acceptable to hit children, and their preferences are rarely consulted in school or at home.  It is nearly impossible to have positive two-way communication between children and authority figures in public schools.  With a 30-1 teacher-child ratio in classrooms, teachers are too busy managing classroom behavior to establish any understanding for the concerns of all students. 

The reason for this disparity in the treatment of employees vs children has to do with livestock management.  Publicly funded schools must advocate ethical treatment of employees to ensure a productive tax-base.  Children cannot contribute to the tax-base, so the government doesn’t care about their ethical treatment.  In fact, the ethical treatment of children will destroy any possibility for a docile, obedient population.  Thus, if the government were to advocate true ethical leadership in parenting, it would be acting in total self-destruction.

Professional sports and tribalism

I really enjoy watching and playing sports.  When I play hockey and baseball I feel acutely in the moment, and a great sense of power over my body.  Playing sports in general releases an endorphin rush that allows me to forget about any problem or negative emotion I am experiencing on any given day.  I also enjoy watching sports because it is entertaining to see the most talented players in the world perform at the highest levels of competition.

However, I am fed up with the tribalism that surrounds professional sports.  For most of my life I have been caught up in this cultural trap, and have been recently weaning myself off the addiction.  The degree to which people invest their emotional efforts towards the achievements of others, of whom they have no control over, is truly astounding.  No, your team is not more virtuous because they are closer geographically to you. 

It is truly tragic how most people choose to talk about sports and the empty trivia surrounding it over topics of depth, intelligence, substance, and real-world application.  Every day we have a choice to truly exist, or simply be dragged along with the currents of history, drowning us in emptiness.  Sadly, non-existence is the default position for most people. 

On our deathbed, we will not care how many times our favorite sports team won in an endless continuum of games.  It will be of no consequence who won the batting title last year, or who scored the most goals.  What will matter is the people who we care most about, and the difference we make in the world.  What will matter is how many times we choose to exist, and truly be who we are.  Let us exist as full human beings, and not delegate our happiness to the vicarious achievements of poster boys for statism and culture. 

Muh roads

The most common, eye-roll eliciting rebuttal to libertarianism or anarchism is: “without government, who will build the roads?”  And the typical response to that is: private companies will institute a toll-based system to build and maintain them.  That is likely true, but I intend to take a somewhat different approach to the issue.  My response is that most roads will not be built at all, and I don't think that's a bad thing.  

Libertarians understandably, and rightly so, focus mainly on the ethical nature of government.  However, little thought is given to the aesthetic ugliness that central planning results in, but we experience it every day.  Walking through the endless asphalt jungle that is Toronto constantly invokes in me the thought: “this is irreversible”.  I always feel a sense of unease walking through the loud, bustling suburban streets of my neighborhood.  There is little space for the peace, serenity and stillness of nature.  Even in most public parks I am not far removed from the concrete jungle, and can still hear the rumbling buzz of the city.

 I once saw a picture of my neighborhood from the 1950s, and it might as well have been a different planet.  Farmland stretched into a virtual eternity.  That is now replaced by an endless sprawl of repetitive housing and condo developments, an aesthetically dull landscape symbolizing the height of urban mediocrity.  Productive farmland has been converted to cracking pavement.  Our roads, perpetually under construction, perilously support multiple hour commutes to and from corporate jobs and overpriced houses.  As all of us who look less than an inch under the surface know, this system is entirely unsustainable.  And government funded roads are a huge contributing factor to this ugly situation. 

If huge industrial developments such as roads could not be funded without a government - as the statists suggest - perhaps this reality informs us of a very important truth.  We don’t need a massively intricate, centrally planned system of roads to achieve a harmonious and sustainable society.  In fact, the existence of this leviathan stands directly in the way of such a goal.  Imagine the creativity and environmental sensitivity that would be needed to transport goods without the freight train that is government, mercilessly ramming through the peaceful, beautiful communities that could emerge in the absence of coercion.  Imagine a community where all our essential resources, services, friends and family are within walking distance, and our economy is harmonious and integrated beautifully with nature. 

This vision is entirely possible, and may be necessary as our artificial society comes crashing down.  The creativity and vibrant beauty that manifests itself in the absence of state power and proliferation of peaceful human interaction never fails to take my breath away; it is worth a lifetime of fighting for.